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Financial meltdown humor

Monday, October 13th, 2008

Found this article on timesofindia.com…its funny in bits and pieces…

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Everything about the financial crisis need not be depressing. People are finding humour in the middle of the stocks meltdown, although punters who have burnt their fingers and much more would find it rude.

“Markets are set to regain 20,000 mark… (But only if) Sensex, Nikkei and Hang Seng are put together at 5,000 points each, NYSE Composite at 1,000 points, Dow Jones Industrial Average at 3,500 and Nasdaq at 500 points.”

“Black Mondays used to be a once-in-a-lifetime event. Now they are coming along more regularly than Delhi Metro trains.”

“Respected Sensex Sir passed away on October 10, 2008 after not keeping well for nine months. The last rituals would be conducted at Lehman Brothers’ place.”

“Assets are written on the left and liabilities on the right side. But, there is nothing left on the right and nothing is right on the left.”

“Raj Thackeray is ready to allow non-Mumbaikars to stay in the city, but it would be mandatory for them to invest in the stock market.”

“Bankrupt allowed to return to their native place without ticket, says Railway Minister Lalu Prasad; Bankrupt to be given imported wheat free on ration: Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar; Stock market losses to be treated as tax deducted at source: Finance Minister P Chidambaram.”

“Blockbuster ‘Saare Zameen Par’ (everyone bites dust) enters into 10th straight month at BSE and NSE multiplexes.”

“When the Sensex was at 21,000, the stock of a single real estate company was ruling close to Rs 1,500. Today, you can get entire sector for the same price and with Lehman Brothers having invested in the sector, further bargain is expected.”

“Iceland being auctioned on eBay at a starting price of 99 pence.”

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown tried his hand at such humours. While giving a speech in London, he quipped on hearing a mobile phone ring, “I don’t know if another bank has fallen.”

Taking a dig at government’s rescue packages:- “All sports stadiums in USA currently named for banks, insurance companies, or financial institutions will have to be renamed “Federal Reserve Park.”

“Markets are the places where two types of people meet up in the morning: those with experience and those with money. Towards the end of the day, they exchange their assets and go home.”

“There used to be bulls and bears in the market, now every one is a plain old ass. ”

“Another one defines P/E ratio as the percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. ”

“The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried,”

“October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to invest in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.”

“How many stockbrokers does it take to change a light bulb? Answer is two — One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.”

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India’s Papa CJ out of Last Comic Standing

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

New Delhi’s “Papa CJ” got eliminated from the Last Comic Standing (American version of The Great Indian Laughter Challenge) last night. The show is telecast prime time on NBC and enjoys a viewership of around 10 million. To Papa CJ’s credit, getting into top 10 is no mean achievement. Click me to know more »

Mumbai bhai log lingo revamped

Monday, July 14th, 2008

You know you are the most innovative people in India. I would say the bhai logs of mumbai. They come up will all kinda innovative and unique ideas to keep their “business” blooming. And their lingo is no common either. We are all aware of slangs like khoka, peti, ghoda, tapka daal, etc. But, our bhai log felt like being innovative again and they have come with with a whole new slang…here are some of the slans that the police has been able to crack so far :) Click me to know more »

Shane Warne’s journey in World Series of Poker ends

Friday, July 11th, 2008

As soon as i finished posting my previous blog, i visited shane’s blog to get the latest. I was not too pleased with what i saw. Shane warne is OUT. Here is what he writes on his blog about his departure:

Click me to know more »

Shane Warne in World Series of Poker (WSOP) 2008 - Las Vegas

Friday, July 11th, 2008

First a bit about the World Series of Poker (WSOP)

The World Series of Poker (WSOP) is the largest set of poker tournaments in the world. It is held annually in Las Vegas, and since 2007 has consisted of 55 events, of which all but the “Main Event” are finished in just over a month. It has poker players participating from all over the globe. The “Main Event” is generally played over a period of 11 days.

WSOP 2008 is currently underway at the Rio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. It began on 3rd July with 6844 participants and will culminate on 13th July 2008 with 1 winner who will pocket a handsome total of $9,119,517. Click me to know more »

Simran Kaur Mundi Miss India Universe 2008

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008

Miss Universe 2008, the 57th Miss Universe beauty pageant, will be held at the Crown Convention Center (Diamond Bay Resort) in Nha Trang, Vietnam on July 14, 2008 where outgoing titleholder Riyo Mori will crown her successor. 80 contestants are expected to compete in the event. Miss India Universe 2008 Simran Kaur Mundi from Mumbai will be representing India in this coveted contest.

Click Here for Album

Simran Kaur Mundi Miss Universe

More Bollywood Albums

magic tricks by david copperfield and chris angel revealed busted

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008

David Copperfield and Chris Angel are probably the biggest illusionist (or magicians) in the US.The PC Sorcar of the US :). Lets take a look at how they actually do all these tricks. Click me to know more »

IIFA Awards 2008 Winners

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

Here is a list of the winners of IIFA Awards 2008 held in bangkok. The awards will be telecast on Star Plus on June 29, 2008.

Here is a list of the winners: Click me to know more »

Mythbusters - red cloth infuriates a bull - Myth or Reality?

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

Myth: Bulls are enraged by red color - BUSTED

Its a universally accepted belief since centuries that red colour infuriates a bull and makes it lose all control and charge towards red with full force. Thats the reason bulls are tickled by waving a red cloth in front of them during bull fights. We have seen in numerous movies bull tearing apart someone just because that person felt like wearing red shorts that day. But the big question is - Is this reality or just a myth? Click me to know more »

Bushism - Funny quotes from George Bush

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

Some more stupid and funny quotes by the president George Bush.

“I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.” -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001 Click me to know more »

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